I can't do this

I don't know if I can go through with this..yes I have gain feelings for you, but I don't want too. I don't want to care or love someone. When I love someone its fucking strong, because I gave someone my heart and they crushed it so badly. I can't or I don't want to give my all to you. I can't....I don't want to get hurt, I know how much it hurts so fucking badly. I just can't..

Cheesy romance

You know what makes me fall in love with a guy

I want a guy who will go out of their way just to be with me. A guy who will do something different. Someone who will prove to be they want to be with me. Someone who takes me on not just a dinner, somewhere adventurous date..something that can make us get to know each other. I love cheesy romance, yes. I want a guy who will be at my door bunch of flowers just because...A guy who is willing to get to know me. I love when guys ask me question because it makes me think that they really want to get to know me.

Someone different..

I won't care

I honestly won't care if the person I like, stop caring for me. Why? because I know eventually feelings fade, its nothing but a wind that makes your whole body chill for awhile..then it goes away slowly. Nothing is ever permanent. So I have to accept it. If you want to talk away, fine. Go ahead. I have to admit, its not easy loving me. I'm stubborn as fuck, I suck at listening, I like when things go my way or I throw a fit. I get jealous easily and too clingy. I say my feelings WAYY to fucking much. I expect, yes I still do because sometimes I wish things would happen how they planned. NOO, nothing is unfair..because everyone is not on the same page. SO I don't care. I'm thinking of myself and whats important. I'm straightening my priorities. ITs FUCKED right now.

I feel like quitting

You know when a person have failed many times, they slowly want to stop trying. You know when a person try to care for someone...they slowly start to have a cold heart. You know that "smile" you see every time, but when no ones around tears bursting out from holding it in. You know that hope..thinking everything would get better. Its bullshit, things gets worst. I have to accept it. People change, things gets worst and the only thing we can do is move on.

My heart is cold..desperately need things to get better. I want to be happy, not just temporary. I don't want to be alone..I feel so alone. Its been so long now..I can't do this anymore.

how do you love

We mistaken love as lust..you don't try to get to know me. Yes, you may take me out and say you love me and come down to see me. Have you ever tried to get to know me? It's because we are having too much sex..Whenever we hang out its so repetitive..I already know whats going to happen at the end of the day. "sex" I don't want to have sex for a freaking long time honestly, its fun, but I don't want to just have sex with you. I want a fucking real relationship. Honestly, I'm not going to get attached with you or try to get close to you. I'm going to get my guard up again. I want to talk for hours, I want to have a good as communication. I want us to be able to have a day without having sex. I hate sex..

can't get away from you

Surprisingly my mind and heart are pretty much on the same page. I really don't know how to tell you this, its not that I'm scared I just don't know how to say it. I honestly don't mind if you get pissed off at me, or start to block me, or start to not wanting to talk to me anymore. Maybe I realize that your going to eventually do that and not come back. I'm really hoping you won't or if you do I hope you just change into something better. I don't think I'm in love with you, I just want to be friends with you.

I'm done

it gets easier for me to walk away when you say the wrong things and I'm super glad.

:)

This may be hard to believe, but I am actually happy without him. I may think of him from time to time, and maybe I still have feelings for him. I realize that there just feelings, and eventually they will fade. It does not mean I'm not ready to move on without him, the truth is; I am move on. Then eventually, I will slowly stop mentioning his name and I can't wait for that day to happen. :)

Surprise!

This is the only way for me to spill my heart out and without you finding out. I'm asking you to prom, this maybe weird for me since I'm a girl. Hey, I got a reason because its my prom and your in college. Even if you don't have feelings for me anymore, it's worth a shot. I want you to see me as the same girl you fell in love with. I can't promise you that everything will be great between us, I know it will be hard as hell. I'm going to make this a big surprise, and whether I get rejected or not I will still be happy. I can't contact you, I don't want to. I want to make this right this time, after high school we will be so much better. I know nothing being able to talk to you is best for us right now. It's a chance for us to fix ourselves, and whatever situation we are in. I want you to be happy because I love you, you are a great impact in my life and I know nothing will change that.

01

Dear Diary,
today was in a way a great day. I did not think of him today, or was I upset. I just held my guard up and keep going with my life, I'm hoping soon I'll completely stop thinking of him. My heart still aches, well you know its normal. I still want to cry from time to time, because I missed him so much. I loved him with all my heart and I still do, my feelings still never went down not even one bit. It sucks that he doesn't feel the same way, maybe its the best thing for me. Maybe this is the way it supposed to be, I guess I was just dreaming that maybe he could be the right guy for me. I was just living in a dream, and so I kept telling myself that we won't ever break up. Love can make you do a lot of things, but I ignore it because I know he was worth it.I wrote a letter to him today, but I don't think I should send it anymore. I won't ever see him anymore.
Was I worth to him?
Did I mean anything to him?
Did he loves me as much as I loved him?

I honestly don't know, I will never really find out.

It's time

It's time to get over you, since you are over me too.
Nothing I can do, since I want myself to be happy too.
You put me through so much shit, I don't think you know how it feels.
I don't love you anymore, it's time to let go.
I hate you so much know that you don't deserve anything good happen to you.
You take everything and everyone for granted. You just care about yourself, hopefully one day you'll realize how much crap you have done but it will be too late.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH, I DON"T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUYOU RUINED MY LIFE, YOU ALSO RUINED ME. YOU ARE A LIAR, FAKE PERSON, I HATE YOU. I REALLY HATE YOU.

Confession

I'm honestly not counting the days when you start to realize I'm not right for you. By then, I'll be making my own new paths to take. Forgetting who you were, or what you become because your not going to come back. I'm going to stop expecting, and not let you in my life anymore. You are a completely different person, you did not change as a mature person. You become a jerk, asshole, and heartless person. I'm not going to get you back because I know what goes around comes around. Thanks for making me learn everything I needed to know.

can't take this anymore

I want you to know that you used to mean so much to me.
I want you to know that I used to be scared of loosing you.
I want you to know that my loved for you never ends.
I want you to know that I spilled my heart out, even if it starts to break.
I want you to know that I pray for us. I didn't want us to be like this, especially end like this.
My weakness is you, I was so in love with you. I couldn't see myself without you.
Now I need to stop.
You mean nothing to me anymore, I don't want to think about you. I don't even want to hear your name. I want to forget you, I want to forget that we ever existed. I want to walk away, and never come back. I don't want to spill my heart for you, I don't want to do anything with you anymore. This is the last time, nothing will break me again.
I'm done with you, bye forever