Dear heart

I've been feeling empty lately, I don't really feel that awesome feeling anymore. When your with someone and makes everything so awesome and just be happy to be with him. Now I'm always sad around him, I'm just so sad and when I used to wanting to tell him how I feel. I don't really want to anymore, because I'm afraid of being judge. I really don't want to tell him anything anymore, I'm still in love with him infinity. Loving him hurts so much now, I don't want to be sad anymore or cry anymore. I have nothing else to say to him because I said everything else, and I've tried everything else. I just wish I can move on from him, so I won't have to feel this aching heart anymore. I want to be with him, but I don't want to be with him like this. This is so unhealthy for both of us, I'm not doing this for him anymore. I'm doing this for myself, and my sake of happiness. Please don't say that I'm selfish, because ever since me and him been going out he was always first in my life and my first priority. Now I don't think I can handle it anymore.

Dear Diary

I'm still in love with you, and you still are very important to me. The thing is I really don't know if you keep your word. You change so much and I'm trying to cope with it. Sometimes I don't know if I can anymore, because I'm just afraid that when I do want to leave because of you hurting me, you won't chase me anymore. Whenever we fight I always chase you back, I don't really know if your being honest with me at all. I don't know why I'm still trying, sometimes I just wish I didn't meet you or like you. I should have just move on when you just wanted to be friends with me. You make it feel like I wasn't the best part of your life, you make it feel like that I was just some girl. I don't want to be just some girl, I want to be one of the best thing that happened to your life. I don't think I'm that girl; I really tried to be that girl, so I don't think I'll try anymore. What will you do if I really walk away and stop chasing? because I'm wishing you would want me to stay.

Dear step dad

I understand how parents should care about there children, and protect them. I believe that parents shouldn't make decisions for the children who aren't 14 years old anymore or 15. I understand how kids should obey there parents, but I hate when you think I don't do shit and don't give a shit about everyone. You know I do care about everyone, or yes I did do shit and thanks for not noticing. You guys expect to much from me that's why I also expect to much from other people. You guys want me to be perfect, You know what I'm not k? I will make mistakes, lots of them in the future. You guys just have to support me through everything I do and every decision I make. I want to experience things on my own so I'll know what to do, i don't want other people experiencing it for me. I want to live life, I want to breathe it and have fun. I know you have to follow rules, but I want to take chances because taking chances is what makes life worthy. I know I have my limitations, I know that things can happen to me, but you guys never trust me. I lie to you guys because you guys always judge me on everything I do because you don't like it. You guys don't even want me to be different, you guys want me to be like other people. I don't want to be like other people, I just want to be me!You guys don't support me, you guys always bring me down, and you always think that I'm not going to go anywhere. Really? is that what you think? do you see me give up? If you think that then, you guys don't really know me at all. you guys don't know what I'm capable of, or how strong I am as a person. The reason why I show I don't give a shit because I already tried my best but you guys never see it

Dear heart

It's getting harder each day, and this ache is getting bigger. I'm sorry for disappointing you, I'm sorry for trying so hard and thinking that everything will eventually get better. His the only person that found my weakness, and he really knows how to used it against me. No more playing games, I promise. I'm not worrying about anything anymore. Sometimes it just feels like this isn't love anymore, I'm really happy right now but there's still a hole in my chest. He hurt us so many times, why is it so hard to walk away? why is it so hard to forget? I can't really handle this anymore. He doesn't need me at all, and I think I should stop needing him also. I'd probably still think about him everyday, but he'll disappear in my memory eventually.