It’s funny how a lot of things change in just a year. It may seems so slow in that time, but looking back everything comes to you in a blink of an eye.
I miss my old self, I hate who I become. It’s so easy to take everything for granted and looking back; I kind of want to fix it. Sadly it’s kind of too late for me; I’m just looking forward for the future right now. At the same time, I’m having fun and making things awesome right now. I used to be talkative, and I laugh at everything. Now all you hear from me is dead silent, and the awkwardness. I used to be the girl where a lot of people say hi too, now I’m just a girl who looks like I don’t know anybody anymore. I really don’t know if I’m happy, or excited. All I’m feeling now is being sad, anger, or irritated. I HATE it! Why am I like this? I can’t feel anymore emotions; all I’m feeling is anger, or sadness. I’m being so emo, seriously I don’t need to complain. Somehow I have to; I just don’t know what to do. I thought I used to know a lot of things before, I don’t even know anything when I think about it. I don’t know if I care anyone, or love. I don’t know what I want to do; I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I just feel so empty and I hate it. Even if I try to think positive, somehow there’s still something I need to get out of my system. Although, writing songs has been really helpful and I guess I’ve been pretending to be happy. I don’t really want anybody to know what I’m feeling; sometimes I have to at least let somebody know.
Maybe I’m just going to a “phase”, Isn’t that what people calls it now a days? I really don’t know, my mind is blank and I don’t what I’m thinking.
I admit summer changed me completely. It was only 3 months and it either changes you different in a good way or bad. I think it changed me in a bad way. I hate how people keeps saying to forget the past, well guess what?! I just can’t forget it. There are those things that need a time to change. Sadly this one is not going to go by that fast. I cried all that summer, that’s what all I did. I cry, cry and cry my tears out. After all those summer, I feel so empty and all I can feel is being sad, mad, or anything that’s bad. I HATE THIS. Yea! The things I used to say, I’m not going to care what people thinks of me. GUESS WHAT?!? I care about it now, and I don’t want to care. I care about what I look like, and all the things I said I’m not going to do. It happened, and it sucks so much.
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