Confession

I know I've been acting weird with you lately you probably might not notice or maybe you do I'm sorry, but I'm still bitter of what you did to me. I'm still questioning myself if this was the right decision or will it screw me over again later on. So many things are holding back that its so hard for me to let my guard down. My hearts still trying to heal from everything, and I know I may not show that it bothers me. It still bothers me, but I don't want to make a big deal of it anymore. Whatever happens to both of us I'll just have to accept it whether if we don't work out. I'm not sick of you, I'm sick of us thinking that things will get better when I'm now thinking is it really going to work out? I know you say I love you a lot to me now, but I'm also questioning if you mean it. What if I'm at my worst again? will you be able to handle it again? I don't know if you just love me at my best, I honestly don't want someone to love me at just me at my best. I want someone to love me at my worst also. Someone who can actually deal with my shit. I'm not asking for too much, I never asked for too much. I just wanted us to love each other equally. I wanted you to feel lucky that you have me, and be super happy. I honestly don't know if I ever was that person. Even if you said it, I don't know if It's real. It's hard to tell who's telling the truth or lie anymore.